Reportedly, Lloyd Carr was seen with an unidentified Metropolis businessman rubbing an unidentified glowing green substance on the Florida game balls prior to the Capital One bowl. Carr claims the balls were simply being polished so they would show up better on TV. A source who does not wish to be named inside the Michigan athletic department feels this may be a revenge tactic by Carr as he is noted to have several pairs of underoos depicting Tim Tebow's arch nemesis Superman and a large supply of Kryptonite is missing from Universal Studios Orlando. Carr's only comment was, "The NCAA didn't do anything when App State used Flubber on their cleats, and they need to just shut up now. There ain't no way we were going to take a whoopin' like the Bucks did last year."

Michigan do I smell probation?

You're a legitimate failure.

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I dominate your face.